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Dear Sarah,

I want to thank you for the support you have given me through Possibilities and Perspectives during one of the most challenging times of my life to date.

This is my story:
Not all fires are dramatic, explosive events. Sometimes, they can smolder away, undetected, for months or even years at a time. The damage is still being done, albeit slowly, hidden away and out of sight. That’s what happened to me.

Although I loved many aspects of my primary teaching job, the realities of working full-time in today’s school system are challenging. There are too many facets of that particular topic to list here, but they can only be described as total overwhelm for the intelligent, capable, hard-working teachers trying to uphold what they know to be right but cannot remotely facilitate within their physical, mental, legislative and budget-constrained environment.

For nine years I tried so hard to fit into a world with impossible expectations. The outcome was inevitable really.

This year, my burnout reached crisis point. For months, I felt l as though I was living in shadow. Dim light, dull senses, a less than half-life lived between lying on the sofa in a silent, exhausted mess and sleep punctuated by chaotic dreams. It’s no exaggeration to say that, at 39 years old, I felt like my life was over. I would look out of my classroom window at the cemetery adjacent to my school and envisage lying down in my early grave. If that sounds pretty dark, it was.

When you are at rock bottom, it is impossible to believe you are capable of anything, let alone escaping a career you’ve built through hard work and reached a level of competence that makes you fear the unknown. Not to mention the reliable paycheck at the end of every month. I knew that things couldn’t go on as they were, but I also felt trapped. I knew things had to change but I couldn’t make sense of anything on my own, especially not in my burned-out state. I needed help.

That’s when I reached out to Sarah. I had worked with coaches and therapists before but none of them could really understand in the same way as she could.

Particularly from the education sector perspective. She had been there and then some! I knew that she would be someone who empathised with the turbulent storm of feelings that come with trying to escape a job that you care deeply about and that you’ve dedicated yourself to, yet also made you feel like a total failure and has broken your soul. I knew that she would understand that special brand of exhaustion that teachers experience on a daily basis. I also knew that she had made the break, felt the fear and done it anyway. She had first-hand and real experience of the ups and downs of life after teaching.

Sarah and I started working together just as I handed my notice in. This was a terrifying process for someone who has had a secure job and salary for the past nine years. It felt like stepping into the unknown but with Sarah there to acknowledge that my feelings were totally valid, and coach me through this time, it was worth every penny of the investment I made into the sessions. During my notice period, things were particularly tough. Having a coach as an impartial influence was such a valuable resource beyond friends and family who can be too emotionally close to a loved-one going through a difficult time.

Sarah also became the voice of rationality. Helping me to see that what I was hoping to do was not unrealistic or reckless, but a totally feasible way of living (and making a living). She held me accountable with manageable targets, all the while mindful that I was still existing in a stressful environment. She was flexible in her approach and there to push me when I needed it.

So now I am on the other side. I feel in a headspace where I am more able to think objectively about things instead of tending to the negative. I feel able to be proud of what I’ve achieved in a short time, no matter how small that step is. For the first time in a long time, I feel hopeful about the future. I honestly don’t think I would have had the courage and perspective to actually make the break if it wasn’t for Sarah’s support. I will continue to work with her as my new life evolves and I inevitably encounter kinks in the road. I’m glad she will be with me along the journey.